The reality of year one
The first year of marriage is often romanticized, but it's actually one of the most challenging. You're merging lives, habits, finances, and expectations.
This isn't a bad thing. It's just different from what movies show. The couples who thrive are the ones who expect adjustment — not perfection.
What to expect (and normalize)
- More conflict than before (you're negotiating everything now)
- Post-wedding blues (the big event is over, now what?)
- Financial stress (weddings are expensive, merging money is hard)
- Different definitions of 'clean,' 'on time,' and 'quality time'
- Missing your independence sometimes
- Feeling like roommates some weeks
- Extended family dynamics getting more complex
- Moments of doubt (totally normal, doesn't mean you made a mistake)
How to build a strong foundation
- Have the money talk early and often
- Set expectations about chores before resentment builds
- Create rituals that are just yours
- Learn each other's love languages (actually use them)
- Schedule regular check-ins (don't wait for problems)
- Protect couple time from work and family
- Learn to fight fair (no name-calling, no stonewalling)
- Say 'thank you' for the small stuff
- Maintain your individual identities and friendships
- Celebrate small wins together
Questions to discuss in year one
The conversations you have now set the tone for decades. Don't avoid the hard ones:
- How do we want to handle holidays with both families?
- What's our money philosophy? Shared accounts? Separate?
- How will we make big decisions together?
- What does a good week look like for us?
- What's non-negotiable for each of us?
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it normal to fight a lot in the first year?
Yes. You're establishing patterns and boundaries. The goal isn't to avoid conflict — it's to learn how to resolve it well.
When should we consider couples therapy?
Therapy isn't just for crisis. If you're stuck in a cycle or want tools to communicate better, starting early is smart.
Start year one with intention
Amora's daily questions help you have conversations that matter — without it feeling like a chore. Build your rituals early.